Creating, for the sake of creating

It’s funny, I actually started off taking pictures of myself.  If you’ve ever seen my Flickr stream, it’s filled with photos I took behind my house on self timer.  Why in the world did I do this? Sometimes I want to slap my forehead in regret.  But, really I don’t regret the time i spent quietly taking these photos--and there was reason for them.  For one, there wasn’t always someone around to take pictures of.  I wanted to capture light, mixed with life, and I wasn’t going to sit around and wait till I found someone.  Also, I didn’t mind being alone.  This was high school for me. Looking back, the pictures I took were special to me then, and are special to me now.   

I don’t think I realized it then, but I was expressing something in these pictures.

I was searching for more in life, more of God and more of who I was in God.  It was hard to know where he was. Everything in my community and at school seemed trivial.  But, I did feel alive when capturing shifting light across my face. Looking back, he was there.  With me in my aimless, quiet walks around my neighborhood.  With me while I silently chased light.  

It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I realized how important these photos were to me.  My friend Pedro and I were jokingly looking at my Flickr stream. I was shocked when he liked some of my old photos.  Being the honest critic and friend that he is, he actually scolded me for not taking more photos like I had in the past. He liked the photos because they were unique.  Instead of waiting for someone to express what I wanted to express, I had just gone ahead and did it myself.  In a way, I agree. I often find myself copying other people’s style of photos.  It is one thing to be inspired by others, but I don't want to blindly reproduce carbon copies of our culture's idea of trendy art. 

I don't want to lose moments of where God is, in the still, silent moments of creating just for the sake of creating.  

For in him all things were created: 
things in heaven and on earth, 
visible and invisible, 
whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; 
all things have been created through him and for him.

-Colossians 1:16

Moving Onward

Waco, TX

This dear friend, Paige, recently graduated.  She's moving back to Chicago and will be dearly missed.  She is lovely, kind and refreshingly goofy.  

I am so excited to see where life takes her. :) Love ya Pae! 

Waiting

Are you already here?
Did i miss your arrival? 
Am I learning patience, or am i not digging deep enough? 
Am I learning faithfulness, or searching in the wrong place? 
When will you come? 
Where are you? 
Who are you? 
What am i waiting for? 
why are you so hard to find? 

------------------ Or,   is it 

               in the waiting,
               in the silence,
in the honest frustration
           in the searching,

 that i find you

as I am.

Accepted

loved

and looked upon with pleasure.